an unforseen obstacle

I have entered a language dead zone. I still can't speak Thai, and my English is starting to slip.  No, really. After nearly nine months of seriously limited face-to-face interactions with native speakers, I guess this fate was inevitable. I slow my pace with every conversation, dumb-down my vocabulary a little bit more everyday, and, at times, use only my increasingly exaggerated gestures and a punctuated grunt to get a point across.  As I lay here in bed, struggling to compose complete, coherent sentences, I have to wonder: will my linguistic prowess ever get back up to speed?

An example: I was in Koh Samet a few weeks ago, and a group of travelers wanted to get on our song taew in the middle of the road.  The driver shook his head. "Mai dai, mai dai," he said, can't do, can't do.  These travelers obviously didn't understand what the man was saying-- they were British, after all-- and tried to hop on. I turned to them, shook my head and waved my hands; "can't do, can't do!" I said, over and over again, baffled as to why they were giving me the same confused look that they had just given the driver.  After a solid few seconds, the nice bloke rather wisely asked, "You mean we can't get on the song taew here?"  Aha! Complete thoughts and sentences! So that's what they were looking for! "Oh.. haha.." I replied. "Right. No, you can't get on the song taew here. You have to go up the road."

As we pulled away and I replayed the scene over again in my head, I realized: I had just spoken English to English speakers like a Thai person might. Forget fretting over comma splices and colon placement-- I was forgoing complete sentences. Sigh. It was quite a devastating realization for a former English major and shameless lover of words. Do you think there's any sort of ex-pat support group for this sort of thing? Seeking tips/words of wisdom/guidance that will help me through this dark time.

With love and a tied tongue,
Anna

some things

In honor of Father's Day, I've written a blog post.  It has nothing to do wtih my father (hi, dad! i love you! I miss you!), but he is without a doubt this blogs biggest support and advocate.  Horrah for dads!

Well, I've been here for eight-and-a-half months now (!!!!!), and I've finally hit the point where thoughts like "ugggh, if this were America..." have all but vanished.  When I was in Bangkok this weekend, though, walking up and down the aisles of the Siam Paragon grocery store (it's frankly unbelievable how many Western goods they have there), just gazing at condiments, I realized: there's no place like home.  I'll always find comfort in decidedly American things, I think.  And that's okay-- because I love Thailand, too!  Below you'll find some things I miss and some things I love.  I tried to keep this list pretty material-- friends, family, speaking English and other more obvious things have not been included-- as to avoid long, emotional tirades about both Thailand and the states.  Below, my top few things, in no particular order.


Some Things I Miss About America:

My car. 
It may be a politically incorrect gas guzzling machine, but I miss those smooth leather seats.

Watching TV on a TV, rather than a 13 inch computer screen.
 My eyes hurt.

Seasons.
Remind me why a girl with frizzy Jewish hair, a die-hard love for sweaters and very active sweat glands chose to live in a tropical climate?

Bagels and shmear
I never knew how much the Kenyon bookstore spoiled me.

Affordable wine
Not only is wine here insanely expensive, it's also insanely bad. Alas.


Affordable cheese
As you may have suspected, there arent too many wine-and-cheese nights happening over here.

Bookstores
My favorite city escapes have yet to find a suitable replacement.

Whole grains
The Thai belief that white is beautiful apparently also applies to their taste buds.


Fresh vegetables/salads
Sweetgreen, I long for you.

Yoga classes
Or any movement class that involves people telling me what to do.


Tank Tops
 Ah, bare shoulders in hot weather. Poor guys don't see much sun over here.

My home refridgerator on Saturdays and Sundays
Though my home fridge is always stocked-- I'd venture to say its the best refrigerator in the world-- its especially awesome on weekends, when its full of Shabbat dinner left-overs. My fridge here is poorly-stocked a mini fridge. Again-- alas.


Anonymity
Though I've gotten used to the stares, and the starers have largely gotten used to me,  I am still an absolute freak here.  I was at a som tom shop down the street a few weeks ago, and overheard two older woman-- who were complete and utter strangers, as far as I knew-- talking about me in Thai.  They knew where I lived and where I taught. Creepy? Juust a little.


Some Things I Love About Thailand:

The country-wide obsession with food
 Instead of saying, "what's up?" or "how's it going?" you say "gin kao?" ( literally, "have you eaten rice yet?").  It's like living in a land full of Jewish mothers: nothing makes people here happier than when you eat.

 The lack of sterility
Though this is also sort of disgusting at times, I have to say that it's pretty awesome to walk into a run down shop and chow down on delicious food.  It has made me realize how scared Americans are of... everything.  Lets ignore the fact that I have gotten food poisoning three times over since last October.


Lateness
Everyone here is always late. Always. I've moved to the right place.


"Teacher, beautiful!"
I am told at least five times a day that I am beautiful.  No, my students don't know how to say anything else.  Yes, I'm going to choose to believe they really think that, anyway.

Availability of hot dogs
Thai people love hot dogs.  Hot dogs are literally in and on everything you can imagine-- pretzels, pizza crusts, sticks, plastic bags.  I dont really like hot dogs all that much, but it's a pretty hilarious nation-wide love affair.

Smiles
Turns out that "the land of smiles" isn't just an hyperbolic expression made up the the Thai bureau of tourism.

Chai Yenn
Thai iced tea. YUM.

Noodles
There are what seems like a billion different types of noodles and ways to cook them. It is.. awesome.

The heat
... in the food.

The fruit
Fruit here tastes like someone took a syringe and injected sugar in it. It's always fresh and always really cheap-- I'm talking 75 cents for a whole watermelon.

Thai kisses
Though I am yet to receive one (sigh),  Thai kisses are perhaps the sweetest of all kissing varieties Sorry, Eskimo and butterfly.  They involve a press of the lips and a gentle inhale--no smack, just a little wiff of the person you love.

The abundance of ice
Most Thai desserts have ice in them; beer is sipped with ice; there's a shop down my street that makes and sells only ice. Yes, it's everywhere, yes, it's bad for your molars, and yes, it's perfect in this weather.

Pay-it-forward mentality
The tit-for-tat mentality just doesn't really exist here. As long as you give, you can take-- and people give a lot.



America, I miss you. Thailand, I don't miss you... yet.

Love
Anna

Isaan has made the news! (for better or worse)

Here's an article from today's New York Times that talks about some of the same issues I addressed in my last post:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/24/world/asia/24thai.html?ref=global-home

an example of why I should not write history textbooks; a characteristically long-winded approach

Let be start by saying that, right now, things in Ubon and throughout most of Thailand are quiet-- eerily so. There is a twice extended curfew in place here, banning anyone from being outside between the hours of 9 p.m. to 5 a.m, and we are still under emergency rule, meaning that there cannot be gatherings of more than five people, that media that "incites panic or violence" can be limited by the government and that soldiers and police can use more force (read: shooting on sight) against protesters. And despite that fact that I live deep, deep in Red Shirt country, Red Shirts are no longer showing themselves anymore. Business are closing at 6 or 7 o'clock, making it difficult to get dinner at any sort of normal hour, and the jogging, aerobics, and soccer and basketball games that happen around the city come dusk.  After 9 o'clock, when our curfew begins, the streets are literally silent-- no motor bikes zooming by, no sounds of drunken laughter coming from the shops on the street, no dinging of bicycle bells-- as everyone is locked indoors.  There are soldiers around, too, during that day and at night, blocking off streets, sitting outside gas stations and at noodle shops, a quiet but noticeable presence.

That is not to say that this curfew is without merit, though: the charred, ghost-like remains of what was our city hall-- a beautiful structure three blocks from my apartment that overlooked Ubon's central park, and held the archives and history of this city-- serves as a constant reminder that while the movement here has been quieted, it has not been quelled.

As with all things political, this red vs. yellow vs. whoknowswhatcolors conflict is extremely complicated. It dates back far before my time here, so, like everyone else, I've been playing historical catch-up. Admitedly, my perspective is more red than yellow, not because I support one or the other (really, I don't!), but because of my location in the country; I haven't really heard the yellow perspective, because, well, there just really aren't many around these parts.  I will not assert an opinion about "how the yellows feel," because I really do not know. With that in mind, here is a very brief synopsis of the situation as I understand it:
  

in 2006, a there was a military-led coup d'état that was put in motion to oust the then-prime minister Thaksin Shinawatra on the claim of corruption.  Coup d'états are no foreign thing here in Thailand: there have been seven coups in since 1971, and three failed coups (see here for a complete list). And while this coup was peaceful, it was definitely not constitutional, and took out of power a highly controversial and extremely popular leader just a month before national elections. During his time in office, Thaksin implemented programs that give more assistance to farmers/rural poor than had ever been given before, making him wildly popular in the northern and northeastern areas of the country.  He is an unlikely hero of the rural poor (he owns a European football club and is worth hundreds of billions of dollars), but a hero nonetheless, and the Red Shirts have not forgiven the current government for his removal. It's important to note that none of the people in government now were (openly or admittedly) involved in the coup; elections were held, and the current Prime Minister, Abhisit Vejjajiva, was elected, though this is somewhat disputed by the UDD's. Everyone is accusing everyone else of skimming off the top, of corruption, of neglect; frankly, I have no idea who has done what, and don't really think that there is any way of knowing.  In terms of spewing propaganda and "facts," it's a tit-for-tat battle between these two parties, and, as always, the "truth" is nearly impossible to discern.

There have three major waves of protests against the current government lead by the National United From of Democracy Against Dictatorship (UDD, or "red shirts") since the 2006 coup: in 2008, 2009 and, the largest, in 2010. The current protests (I use the word current careful, for while there are no active protests at the moment, this blogger obviously does not think they can yet be talked about in past tense) began in early March after Thaksin was found guilty for various money laundering crimes.  Thousands of people, mostly from the north and the northeast, made their way to Bangkok in the middle of hot season to protest what they saw as more than an unjust verdict: for them, it was emblematic of an unjust government. I believe it is at this point that the UDD's really moved beyond Thaksin. They set up the now notorious Red Shirt encampment, and made make-shift homes.


IN OTHER WORDS, this storm has been brewing for quite some time.  I was politely told in November, when I wore yellow to school on a Monday (yellow has traditionally been worn on Monday to show love and support for the king; it is also incidentally the color of the current political party) that "I wouldn't wear yellow here if I were you"-- far before any of the publicized rallies began. The Red Shirts believe that the current government is corrupt, unjust, suppressive, dictatorial and, above all, illegitimate; the yellow shirts believe that the reds are merely a pawn in Thaksin and his allies' schemes, that they've been duped by the Red Shirt leaders, and then there are thousands of Thais who stand in the middle.  Let me make this clear: This movement has moved passed Thaksin.  While some Red Shirts are still fighting to get Thaksin back in government, I'd say that the majority (here, at least) don't necessary want or expect for Thaksin to be in, but want the current government out.


So, in the eyes of most Red Shirts, all that the latest government crackdown did was give them more reason to loathe the government.  Now, in addition to seeing them as a body who gives money to the rich and a pittance to the poor, they are also a party who kill innocent, peaceful protesters, doing whatever they like, whenever they like.  Both parties are growing increasingly factioned, as well-- there are pro-loyalists and anti-loyalists, yellow shirts who are pro-Abhisit and yellow shirts who are anti-Abhisit, red shirts who are for violence and those who are against it... and everything in between.

In the past week and a half, I have not been living in the Thailand I have come to know and love (see: above photo).  I have seen burning tires and cars, trucks full of red-shirted, masked protesters and belligerent voices blasted from radios and megaphones. Thai's are a reserved and quiet people, and this conflict has not changed that, so garnering specific information has been difficult.   I do know that my most beloved colleagues and friends here, the kindest and most peaceful people I know, have told me that "a wave is under the water," that the fight has not yet been fought, and that they, too, hate the government-- now more than ever.  I'm not sure what to expect, just how big this wave will be, or if and when it will hit.  This conflict has devastated this divided country, both reds and yellows alike; let's hope that from this mutual sense of loss and sadness, a peaceful middle ground can be found, and that my predictions and fears will prove sorely misguided!!

With love for and from Thailand,

Anna

Ps. I took all of these photos here in Ubon; the first two are of a protest I uhh stumbled upon while walking to dinner last week (I really had no idea it was going on-- a causality of not being able to understand any news source here), and the last is of tires that were lit on on fire outside of city hall last weekend. I was safe in a car when I took that one.

we interrupt this broadcast...

i know i was in the middle of telling you about all the awesome gallivanting i've been doing, but i want to write a quick word about the unrest that is happening in thailand at the moment.  i'm in the middle of composing a more thorough and polished piece about my experiences/feelings/etc., but for now please know that i am safe and promise to be vigilant. it's unclear now what direction this is going in-- hopefully we are at a climax point and things will start to lose momentum soon, but because it is such a grassroots movement, it's extremely difficult to ascertain how much money, support and power the red shirts have.  i live deeeeeeep in red shirt country (as my colleagues joke, i'm constantly surrounded by red shirts, as the teachers whose desks are behind, in front of and next to mine support the cause), and i really just can't tell how far this will go.  but again, i'm being careful and looked after by fulbright and my school and do realize the gravity of the situation. more than anything right now, i feel truly devastated; it is tragic to watch a country i have come to love so much spiral into such dispair. so i ask you: please keep thailand in your thoughts, prayers and wishes; may it return to peace soon.

with love from and for thailand,
anna

adventures in wonderland(s)

i finished my first semester of teaching (!) in mid-march, packed up my bags, and hit the road for a two-and-a-half months adventure. a few pictures to wet you apetite; more to come later this week when my internet is (hopefully) being less dysfunctional:

first, i headed down south to koh tao to learn how to scuba dive. i got both my open water and advanced licenses (....though i planned to only get the first license, i ended up staying a few more days to get my second. oops?), and fell in love with the sport. the night dive was my favorite-- so peaceful! sarah, center, was my instructor, and mike, right, was the only other person in my open water group. 


next, i went up to chiang mai to cosa, a home for girls who have sexually exploited, abused, or are at risk for trafficking in the sex industry. there, myself and 5 other fulbrights taught dance, painting and yoga classes. we even indulged full-on high school style and took the girls for a bowling and pizza day at a mall in the city. thanks to all those who donated to the workshop-- it really was a wonderful success. for more on cosa, go to: http://www.cosasia.org/

next up.......... india! brace yourself for the next post.

the end of an era

It is the end of an era: as of this time tomorrow, I will have said goodbye to this sweet, hot, broken-down home and welcomed the joys of modernity. Yep, that's right: as of tomorrow I will again be living with ac, wifi and even a hot shower in a brand spankin' new apartment.

Don't get me wrong: I am admittedly quite excited about the change, especially considering we have officially launched into the hot season here in Warin and its an average of 38 degrees C almost every day. Living without ac on the second floor of a westward facing room with no tree coverage is pretty much torture for a wimpy farang like myself. The strange smells that this glorious little house holds within its walls are becoming increasingly potent as the numbers on the thermometer rise, as have the bugs, geckos (which I have sort of come to adore) and assorted other creepy-crawlies. In addition to the fact that the temperature is on the rise, all of the animals seem to be in heat too, making for some, uuuhhh, interesting noises all through the night. And, while I really do love Joi, it has been a liiiitle bit of a roller-coaster ride the past few months (briefly: her aunt moved in; aunt's family of 5 moved in on weekends; Joi's many boyfriends moved in and out while boyfriend 1 was on vacation; I still couldn't speak Thai; Joi left on weekends; aunt and family stayed here; Joi develops eating disorder... but this all for another post entirely).

That being said, it was by no means an easy choice to leave my dilapidated abode. Aside from the convenience of living across the soccer field from school, there is a certain beauty about a life without many modern conveniences. From depending more on books than the internet to pass the time, to sweating through the heat and letting your body do the cooling, to the moment when your body shifts from feeling that holy-shit-this-is-the-coldest-shower-ever to this-is-sort-of-refreshing-actually, to the view of the moon I get from my bed, to the moment, every...single... day... when you wake up at dawn because the roosters told you to: these are all things I have been fortunate to experience here. These physical barriers have exhausted me, challenged me, isolated me and frustrated me... but they have equally pushed my boundaries and my limits, given me faith that I can live with much less comfort than I previous imagined, and have, really, largely defined my existence in the past few months.

Ah well, the time has come. Goodbye, house. Goodbye, moon. Hello, next adventure!

Love as always,

Anna

Ps. Sorry for the lack of photos/videos on the blog. Despite the kindness of my neighbor (who unwittingly let me steal internet from time-to-time), the connection just isn't good enough to upload anything that big. Hopefully I'll be able to make up for lost time in the new digs!

this one's for you, dad!

from: Michael Salzberg

to Anna Salzberg

date: Sun, Feb 14, 2010 at 11:46 AM

subject: blog

body: No posting on the blog in February?

(Touche. Sorry, Dad.)

I realized that after all this time, I have yet to really talk about what my life is like here. And so, here you have it: a day-in-the-life of a Fulbright ETA in Warin Chamrap, Thailand. Hold onto your keyboards.. it's pretty wild!

6 am: wake up to the sound of roosters and the vrooming of my very prompt neighbors unfathomably loud motorcycle and car.

6:05 am: put pillow over head; go back to sleep.

6:45 am: wake up, trudge downstairs to make coffee (thank you, french press!) and take freezing cold shower.

7:50 am: hear the Warin Chamrab school anthem play; realize I have been drinking coffee and perusing the internet for 45 minutes, am still in a towel, have no clean clothes and need to be at flag pole in 15 minutes.

8:05 am: stumble out the front door and to flag pole, where every Monday I am greeted by colleagues in civil servant uniforms, every Tuesday by pink shirts, every Wednesday by both staff AND students alike in boy and girl scout uniforms, every Thursday by standard school uniform and every Friday by traditional Thai dress. I, unfortunately, own practically none of these ensembles, though I have amassed a bit of a traditional Thai wardrobe.

8:45 am: begin period one. Please note: though flag pole is scheduled to end at 8:25 and class is to begin at 8:30, an adherence this official time table has yet to come to fruition. When I ask my students where they have been, their most common answer is, "Teacher! Sorry! Eat breakfast!" or, even more often, a puzzled look, because the question was not understood. This is not isolated just to 1st period; I hear this breakfast excuse all day, as my students saunter in an average of 15 minutes late. For those of you who know me and my uhh issue with timeliness, you may be thinking, "Hot damn, Anna chose the right country." You would be right.

8:45 am- 4:00 pm: I attempt to teach the English language for an average of three hours a day. Topics covered may include: clothing, emotion, Hanukkah (never got around to Christmas...), Valentine's Day, Thanksgiving, weather and seasons, music, America, yes, just in general, I talk about Amerca, telling time, shopping, counting, months, numbers, body parts, and/or descriptive words.

Students may be forced to: put on a skit, practice a dialogue, do a tongue twister (she sells seashells by the seashore), "repeat after me," "sit down please!" "just listen! no, no.. not repeat.. just listen please!", run to the board and spell/draw/look confused, decipher a language that they do not understand, give me 1 baht for coming in late, speak, speak, and "speak more loudly please!!", go "shopping" with American money I xeroxed (this may or may not be illegal?), explain to each other an activity they did not understand when their crazy American teacher explained it to them the first time and/or any combination of aforementioned activities.

And, when not teaching, I am: eating ridiculously hot som tam, lesson planning, trying not to eat all of the delicious desert-like things other teachers brought into work, drinking water, sweating, thinking about air-conditioning, trying not to pass out from heat poisoning, reading books and articles on how to teach ESL... and have I mentioned thinking about air-conditioning?

4 pm- 10 pm: Afternoons and evenings vary.... though only minimally. They are mostly filled with 1) sitting outside and reading, because my westward facing my room is approximately 40 degrees celsius; 2) watching an episode (or three.... don't judge me; I live alone in Thailand) of The Wire/Six Feet Under/Mad Men and/or Sex and the City; 3) going to P'sang's brother house for dinner, one of my most favorite things to do here, as I get to play with lots of children, drink beer on ice and attempt to practice my Thai; 4) meet Maricel for dinner in Ubon, a much needed respite that usually comes midweek; 5) go across the street to the noodle shop, alone or with Joi, where the people actually know my name AND my order (nodding head smuggly); 6) spending time with my faithful friend, the world wide web; 6) talk to all of you back in the u.s. of a (though not as much as I would like, I might add. ::hint hint::) 7) whatever combination of above activities my little heart desires.

My life, huh?! Prettty wild. There have been some awesomely hilarious and strange moments, but that's for next time. I'm thinking about going crazy and posting twice this month-- keep your fingers crossed.

Happy belated Chinese New Year/Valentine's Day/Presidents Day!

Love,

Anna

same same but (not that) different

It feels funny to be blogging about anything other than Haiti right now. Although I’m a million miles away, I am, like you, glued to my computer and news stations, in an effort to digest and to process this horrific catastrophe. Even in my office here, in my podunk town in Thailand, I walked in this morning to, “Anna, did you see about Haiti? What about in America? Close to your home?” No, no, I replied, not close to my home, but close to many peoples hearts.

That being said, I’ve been meaning to write an entry for quite some time about my experiences here as a teacher. My time here has only further put into relief the universal commonalities of broken education systems, whether they be in rural Thailand, rural Ohio or downtown D.C.

I teach at a mid-sized public school on the outskirts of an industrial town. The school sits on a stretch of highway that tapers out to the most rural parts of Thailand-- we are at the beginning of the end of urbanity in the province. Imagine this: you have superhero vision and are standing in front of the Warinchamrap School. If you looked to the left, you’d see a small city, with a handful of cute cafés and restaurants, a bunch of Walmart-like establishments and endless mom-and-pop specialty stores. If you looked to the right you’d see miles and miles and miles of golden rice paddies, a few gas stations, some factories and the occasional roadside restaurant. You would also see my students.

In other words, much like the students I worked with at Kenyon, my students here are almost exclusively the children of farmers and factory workers. While they are not the hill tribe children of the north that you most often read about as the children in need here, they come from some of the lowest income areas in the country. And, while poverty is not necessarily conducive to shoddy education systems, it is an all too-common and undeniable trend—both here and in America.

Of the 272 students who enter the Warin School their first year (7^th grade), 121 make it to graduation; of that 121, ten to fifteen will make it to university. The pool of males shrinks drastically each year, leaving only a handful once they’ve reached the second semester of their senior year. In my lowest level classes, I am lucky if half show up to our class that meets just once a week, a problem even the most veteran teachers have (“Anna, I just don’t know what to DO,” one of my co-workers lamented yesterday, shaking her head. “My students are exhausting”). I have classes with students who have been taking English for at least four years and quite literally cannot write the English alphabet. And, like the students I worked with in the states, they my students here come from broken homes and have never seen anyone they know or love go beyond a rice paddy. It is—perhaps not surprisingly—the same song that is sung throughout the public school system in the states, and throughout the world: seeing no future for themselves in the education system, or for the education they are told they must get, the students, in so few words, shrug their shoulders and give up.

I judged an English competition a few weeks ago featuring the top 61 students in the entire Isaan region. These students were truly astonishing. Most were eloquent, thoughtful, ambitious, smart and, well, fluent in English. And the things the most impressive ones had in common? Their father was a foreigner, their parents could afford to send them on exchange programs and they had just gotten back from a year in America, or they were in top English programs (where all of their classes are taught in Egnlish) in the richer parts of the region. It was, sadly, quite easy to spot the students from the “country schools” : they were the students who did not and could not keep up. I do not mean to hyperpolarize the situation; there were, of course, exceptions. Unfortunately, though, this formula held largely true.

Education, as anyone who has had one will attest to, is the surest road to freedom. It can mean freedom of opportunity, freedom from oppression, freedom of mind, and, almost always, freedom of choice. Once given and received, education is the coal under the fire for everything or nothing. If pursued, an education gives you the choice to be a farmer or factory worker, a shop owner, a doctor, or an English-speaking farmer with a law degree. It is for this reason, this freedom that education provides, that oppressive governments and institutions everywhere have long feared education, and have established, blatantly and latently, systems in which the poor remain poor and therefore uneducated and uneducated and therefore poor (thank you, Paulo Freire).

Well, that's my two cents, at least. Phew. It's exhausting to think about, isn't it? But hang on, dear reader, because these musings get even more exhausting with the big questions they agitate. Lets start with, well, what in the hell do we do about it? And what can I do in this small school, in this small place, to help these kids see that education is important and enriching and enlivening and freeing? To provide them with the support, opportunities and, well, fun they need to pursue it? How can I help them see past their very limited financial situations to scholarships and university? How do I help them to see that English really could, in this globalizing world, be the ticket that takes them far beyond the borders of their lives? How do I make them... come to class?! Most of all, how do I help to change a broken system, so that equal opporutnity is provided to all students, no matter what their background be?

Now, I understand that one might think these are pretty lofty goals for a year, a decade, a lifetime—I can perhaps see your point. Maybe I just have too much time on my hands here, to pontificate and ponder about this whole education thing. And maybe I've just let that youthful optimism get the best of me. It helps that I really do (most days) love my kids, and have ridiculous amounts of fun with them. But I'd like to believe that, in addition to my foolish optimism (something I blame in large part on the the brilliant, dedicated and groundbreaking work of so many educators I have met), that progress really is possible—even if it means reaching just one student in just one class in one school in rural Thailand.

Sigh. A girl can dream, right?

Welp, I miss you all. And again, sorry for the length—guess I should blog more often or something.

Lots of love,

Anna

joi to the world

It seems appropriate at this time of year-- when talk of holiday cheer and joy is abundant--to talk about the Joi in my life: my housemate. Though I’ve mentioned her previously, she really does deserve an entry of her own. Her personality and life are worthy of a reality TV show: she had a baby 7 months ago who lives with her parents in her hometown, an ex-husband who is trying to get her back, a boyfriend who is a musician, but only plays music in Hong Kong, and an obsession with Thai soap operas, belt making and all that is Isaan. Despite these, uhh, differences, Joi has managed, somehow, in her hilarious, easy-going and kind way, to make my life here in Warinchamrap feel exponentially safer, happier and more comfortable.

On my first night in Warinchamrap, after an exhausting day of 3-am wake-ups, moving-in, and trying not to cry about the place I was moving into, I came back to my new room to find a lovely, lovely surprise-- a foot longtokay had crawled through the gap above my door and sat its blue behind and beady eyes on my wall.

As most would probably do, I freaked the hell out and screamed for the roommate I had met just minutes prior. "JOOII!! JOOOII!!!!! JOOIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!" rattled our paper-thin walls as I frantically ran into her room, dragged her out of bed, and into my room to show her the freakish monster on my wall.

She took one look at it and then at me, her new, crazed, jumping, screaming, English-squawking housemate and stared for a good minute. "Huh?" her face read, "what the hell are you so worked up about?" Turns out that tokays are all over the place here-- a sight that I have gotten very used to-- and for Joi, who grew up in a small fisherman's town on the border of Laos, this little guy was barely of note, let alone something worth trying to chase out of a room. But after that solid minute of taking me in, she realized that my unadulterated fear could only mean that I had never seen one of those run-of-the-mill geckos before. She stammered, wide-eyed,"No.. tokay...(waved hand backwards to signal before)?"

I turned red, laughed, shook my head, and continued to jump up and down. And Joi, oh lovely Joi, promptly responded to my head shake by first laughing, and then picking up a broom and to shoo it-- and me-- away.

The tokay took off running through my room, first dashing into my closet, and then finding asylum in my newly unpacked clothes. We finally did get it out, though, and we managed to have our first big laugh together, too.

There have been countless moments like this with Joi—as I write this I am reminded of more and more--when her efforts and kindness have diffused a situation that would have felt otherwise unmanageable and overwhelming. She is patient with my Thai and is making huge improvements in her English (our conversations now consist of 3 or 4 word sentences!); I help her make these awesome, beaded belts that she sells at Big C (Thai equivalent of Walmart), and try to help her through her boy troubles (which she has a lot of); she invites me out with the other young staffers, takes me to dinner and even takes me shopping. She’s a wild one by Thai standards, but a kind, generous one by mine. Who knew you could glean so much by talking through a dictionary?

And so, reader, to end this sappy blog post I say: Joi to the world for awesome Thai roommates and friendships in unexpected places.

Happy holidays!

Love

Anna

and up-country life begins

Now let me explain myself: my negligent blogging habits have roots in two semi-legitimate factors. The first is, admittedly, laziness. There is really no excuse for this one. The second is, I think, a bit more justifiable: I just do not want this blog to become an outlet for my emotional ups and downs during this adjustment period. It is in the low moments that I feel most inclined to blog, to reach out into the depths of cyberspace and connect with people who are not here, who speak English and who too will see life here through a foreigners lens. But really, writing at those times would give you an unfair picture of what my life is like here. My life here in Warinchamrap is often (very often) mind-bogglingly frustrating, isolating and difficult. But it is equally exciting, fulfilling and awe-inspiring. I am challenged everyday by one thing or another—“Oh, only 4 out of 45 students are going to show up today?” “What do you mean its 95 degrees and considered the cool season?” “ANOTHER ant infestation????”—but very rarely do I find myself wishing I was somewhere else or doing something else. I am conscious of the fact that these daily challenges are also making me braver and stronger, and a far better non-verbal communicator than I ever thought I could be.

I live in the outskirts of the town of Warinchamrap, a suburb of the somewhat sprawling city of Ubon Ratchathani, in the northeastern part of Thailand (the Isaan region). The province sits adjacent to the borders of Laos and Cambodia, making for a cultural hodgepodge of food and language; the people around me all speak Thai and Laos, cook Thai and Laos food, and are unbelievably proud of their geographical roots. “This Isaan food!” I am often told. “You find it all over Isaan, but most famous in Ubon.” My hysterical, unpredictable Thai housemate, Joi, adamantly hates any food that is not from Isaan, shaking her head with a puckered expression anytime I suggest she try the American food I bring back from Bangkok.


This pride in local heritage comes with a genuine, inherent desire to share it with anyone who is interested in learning. Fortunately for me, this learning process brings with it massive quantities of delicious food and kind, tender people. I am repeatedly awe-struck by the intrinsic generosity and thoughtfulness of the people around me, from the women in my office, to the women I talk to at flag pole, to Joi, to the shop owner down the street. Despite the fact that we often can’t communicate in full sentences, I am constantly given food, invited out to meals, on camping trips and to family events; I’ll come back from lunch to find that someone has put a cha-yenn (Thai iced tea) on my desk, or has cooked me extra food because they thought it might be something I haven’t yet tried, or has brought me bananas from the grove in their backyard because they know how much I love bananas here. And far more often than not, these gifts are not given because something is wanted or expected in return, but rather because, simply, the giver just thought I might like it. And this spirit of anonymous, selfless giving has made me want to give back to them in the same way, to pay attention to the details of their lives too.

This is not to say that things here aren't incredibly trying. Less than half of my students will show up to any given class, and about half of those will show up twenty minutes late. The level of their speaking and listening skills continues to amaze me-- it is just so low, I'm often not sure where to start. But I am learning where to start... even if it often feels like it's at a snail's pace, going five steps forward, and then three steps back. I really do love my students, though; I find their obsession with Korean pop music fascinating, their accents endearing and their kind hearts (jai dee) encouraging. The fact that I can't verbally communicate with anyone around here on a deep emotional or intellectual level has also been quite a change from my home life and my life at Kenyon, and has undoubtedly been the most difficult aspect of my experience. Guess I'm going to have to start studying Thai, eh?

So, while it has definitely been a month of ups and downs, the good news is that-- surprise!-- everything really does pass, and the ups do always seem to come. I feel truly lucky to be here, breathing in the provincial Thai air, waking up to roosters in the morning, standing in front of a classroom of giggling faces and eating spicy, pungent Isaan food every day.

Thanks for the read and I'm sorry for the novella-length post. I miss you all!!


Lots and lots of love coming your way--


Anna

just call me kru anna

It's official! I am a kru. Just call me Teacher Anna. I now gesticulate nonstop; I am a pro at non-verbal communication; I make worksheets; I put smiley faces on papers; I say "Great job!" and "Let's give him a round of applause!" so often its becoming involuntary; I'm developing a twitch in my right hand from furiously scribbling on the blackboard; I even get chalk on my skirts!

Here's proof:


This week, I've been working with another ETA, splitting our two hour time, each teaching an hour on our own. There are 21 boys in our class and 4 girls. Their vocab is generally stellar; unfortunately, they have no idea how to use it. So far so good, though-- hopefully I will keep enjoy it when I go to Warin Chamrap on... MONDAY!

More soon--

Anna

Apparently I'm not great a keeping up a blog.

After two weeks of orientation at Chulalongkorn University, I feel certain about one thing, and one thing only: Thailand is an unbelievably complex and complicated place. Though we’ve spent six hours a day, five days a week studying the country’s culture, history, and customs, I feel increasingly confused… especially when it comes to the language. Thai is a tonal, so the pitch and tone (rising, falling, middle, low or high) in which the word is spoken can potentially change it’s entire meaning. A small taste:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nlw4NJdnNE

Get it? Me neither.

How about telling time in Thailand? Here's a picture from class today.

Pretty clear right? Hahaha, funny joke. Did you know that after 6 PM you call all of the numbers (7PM-11PM) 1,2,3 or 4? Turns out I'll always be on time in Thailand, because the concept of time doesn't really exist. Guess I chose the right country after all.

Then there’s the political history, the gender norms, the food— ohhh, my, my, that’s for another entry.

While my weekdays here are mostly spent in orientation or in my little neighborhood near Siam Square, I spent last weekend doing some sightseeing around the city. After a week of noodles and rice, we decided on Friday night to hunt down some good, old-fashioned pizza. We found a “delicious American pizza place” online (never, ever do this), and hopped in a cab to Sukumvit Soi 26/1 (the streets here are named by number, so 26/1 is the name of a street off of Sukumvit Road)… only to find once we arrived that 26/1 does not exist, and 26 is an entire street of happy ending massage parlours (Angel Massage? White Lady Massage? Happy Massage? Hmmm…). Alas, we settled on a Japanese restaurant around the corner where at least six people were waiting on us at any given time—we may or may not have been the only farang (foreigners) ever to enter the building.

On Saturday we went to JJ market, an enormous, must-see market in downtown Bangkok. They have literally everything you can possibly imagine: food, animals, clothing, furniture, strobe lights, thrift stores, jewelry... on and on and on! It's a crazy place, with an awesome mix of tourists, Thai hipsters, performers, and other assorted characters.

On Sunday a friend from college was in town (he has been teaching outside of Chaing Mai for the past year), and he served as an excellent tour guide in Chinatown, around the downtown canals and at the Golden Mount. He speaks Thai brilliantly, giving me hope and making me realize how far I have to go before I’ll be able to complete a sentence. It was great to see a familiar face, though, and bowling that night was a fantastic end to a weekend.

More on my homestay weekend soon-- really, really this time!

Miss you all!!!!

Anna

it's hot here

The first few days in Thailand have been a whirlwind of strange smells, nerves, chili peppers, tuk-tuks and saffron colored robes. The heat here is utterly enveloping, putting me in what seems like a semi-permanent state of sleepiness and sweatiness. Despite this, I have been seriously enjoying the five sense stimulation that has been a constant since I arrived 3 days ago (a fantastic constrast to the body-stiffening, mind-numbing 30 hour trip over here). I often find myself reeling from smell of frying fish, the sound of whizzing motorbikes, the sight of bumper-to-bumper traffic, the taste of something either sweeter or spicier than I thought imaginable and the feel of the pregnant air-- all simultaneously. I'm trying to enjoy every minute and soak up the (admitedly) overwhelming life here in bustling Bangkok before I depart for my little town of Warin Chamrap on November 2.

A day-by-day, play-by-play to come tomorrow. A few pictures until then!


No resume required.


Who says you can't get everything you want in Bangkok?


First tuk-tuk ride!


Love
Anna

I really need to learn some Thai.

Hello from Thailand! Visual proof I made it here in one piece, and with a good friend in tow.

More to come tomorrow. Until then--

I miss you all!

Love
Anna